OUR STORY

Thank you so much for seeking to learn our story. It is one that is marked by joy and challenges with God’s faithfulness all throughout. We hope that as you read this you will see that faithfulness clearly in every step of our journey.

Joel & I got married on February 2nd, 2019. After 5 long years of dating we were so excited to finally be husband and wife. We decided to wait to have children right away and enjoy married life even though we both were excited to one day have children. As our first anniversary got close, we decided it was time to start trying for children. With excitement we began to think of what our life would look like with a little baby in the mix. Even though we knew to wait a year before suspecting that something may be wrong, our excitement caused us, especially me, to worry sooner. Still, we prayerfully waited knowing that God’s timing would be best.

When a year came and went with no positive pregnancy tests, we began to look into fertility doctors and testing to see if there may have been something specifically causing our difficulty. Unfortunately, this was all happening in 2020 & 2021 which we all know was a difficult year. It was challenging to get in with a doctor in a timely fashion but, through God’s faithfulness, we finally got in to see a clinic in Charleston, South Carolina in May of 2021 — two and a half years after we had been married. The findings were disappointing; the tests had come back with both Joel and I having issues that were likely contributing to infertility.

We hadn’t expected that; We didn’t honestly know what to expect. We were then told by the doctor that likely our only option to ever have children was to try In Vitro Fertilization (or IVF). With the numbers that we had come back with, a lesser procedure like IUI (or Intrauterine Insemination) only had a 1% chance of being successful. When we left the doctor’s office that day we felt deflated and sad. BUT we knew that we still had options and we knew that we serve a God that can work any miracle at any time. Our families and our church were both such a comfort in that time through conversations, prayer, and so much more.

We prayed and sought the council of our closest friends and family on how we should move forward. Ultimately, we decided to schedule a second appointment with our doctor to discuss more of the details of our treatment options. At this appointment, our fertility doctor set up a meeting with a urologist where it was found that Joel had a severe case of Varicocele which was likely causing the critically low counts. He explained that a simple surgery would be able to repair the veins that had been enlarged. God’s provision and faithfulness were evident at every point of the process with Joel’s urologist. Not only was the procedure simple, the surgeon knew our situation and specifically coded the billing of the procedure in such a way that it was a fraction of the price that it would have normally been. We knew that we needed to have the procedure done because, if successful, it would make us candidates for IUI. Even so, we were not sure how we would be able to pay for the procedure.

Our friends encouraged us to reach out to our church elders for assistance and they unanimously voted to cover the entire cost of the surgery for us. We were overwhelmed by the kindness of our church and, ultimately, the kindness of our Lord to provide for us in this way. Once the procedure was complete, in September of 2021, we returned for another round of tests in December of that year. To our joy and surprise, everything looked great with Joel’s numbers and our doctor scheduled us for IUI to be done in April of 2022.

In April, we embarked on the next step of the process. For the entire month, I was given weekly ultrasounds and blood tests to monitor my hormones as well as daily medications that I had to self-inject that were meant to help stimulate the process and create the most healthy setting for potential conception. This was difficult physically, but did give me something active to do which was helpful to feel like part of a pretty clinical process. Then, when the timing was right, they would inject a sperm sample and then we waited two weeks to take a pregnancy test to see if it had been successful. The doctor told us that it took, on average, at least 3 cycles of IUI to have a successful conception so with that in mind we waited and prayed hopefully for our little one.

Unfortunately, there was no positive pregnancy test that month. We wept and steeled ourselves for the second try in May, still clinging to the hope that this would be the way God would grant us a child. May came and went with another negative pregnancy test. At that point, I was emotionally spent and Joel and I decided that we should stop, take a step back, and simply pray and wait. For a whole year, we waited. But, oh how God worked in our waiting! Our hope was that He would miraculously provide a child in that time. Instead, He worked in our hearts. He taught us both patience. He taught us how to love each other and care for each other more. He showed us areas in our lives that He sought to grow and change us. He showed us how we could be a spiritual mother and father to other believers and to our friends’ children. God’s timing, again, is never wrong, never late, and NEVER without a purpose.

When May of 2023 came, we decided to try our one last round of IUI before my 26th birthday. Again we began the process of office visits, blood tests, ultrasounds, injections and again it was unsuccessful. At this point, we knew we needed to again seek God and step back. It was becoming a major source of stress for us to be always thinking about timing and medical costs and all the rest that we had experienced thus far. We eventually began to consider embryo adoption. I encourage you to look up embryo adoption elsewhere because it is a wonderful opportunity to preserve lives that have been stored away with no intent to be given a chance to walk this earth. Ultimately, however, we kept hearing the Lord say, “Wait.”

I’ll be honest; I often like to try and guess what God is going to do and I can say that after 27 years of trying to guess I’m pretty much wrong every time and I know that is a good thing. I thought maybe God was telling us to wait so He could provide a miracle when we least expected it (and maybe He still will!) but today we still wait with hope and with the knowledge that He is a good Father that delights to give good gifts to His children.

Since last year, I have been working with a fertility nutritionist that did additional testing and determined that I had multiple nutrient and vitamin deficiencies and has been working with me to build a lifestyle that is more conducive to conceiving. I also began to sense that I may have been experiencing symptoms of Endometriosis for sometime. When I learned earlier this year that I have an extensive family history of Endometriosis, Joel and I decided to look into it more seriously. Ultimately, I ended up having an exploratory laparoscopy surgery in October to determine if I did have Endometriosis. There was a hope for both of us that this would be the missing piece and the reason for all of our trouble with conceiving. When the results came back with no Endometriosis at all, it was bittersweet. We were both so thankful that I didn’t have to deal with the effects of truly having Endometriosis, but it was another instance where we were left with no real conclusive answer.

And here we are today, still no children. Oh, how we long for children. BUT here we are today, both knowing our Savior in a closer and stronger way. We thank Him that, despite the ache of feeling as if a member of our family is missing, He has been with us and helped us endure each and every step. He does not desire that we should endure pain and sorrow, but we know that His goodness will shine through even our sorrow.

In the new year, we will be embarking on a new round of fertility treatments with a new doctor. We are again hopeful that the Lord will work a miracle in all of it both physically, emotionally, spiritually and even financially. This almost six years of trying to conceive has had a lot of costs in all of those areas. As we look forward to this next round of treatments, we look forward to it with trepidation due to the financial burden of it. We are so grateful for the help that we have received in the last years and are so grateful for those of you that continue to seek ways to help us.

This is why we have created our Christmas album this 2024 Christmas season! We wanted to show you our love for you and our love for Christ through our combined love of music. We hope and pray that the songs and hymns would be a blessing to you and we so appreciate your contribution to our fertility fund. If you’d like to purchase our album and donate to that fund, click HERE. Thank you to all of you that read our story and choose to purchase our album! We love you all.